Some Water

Dear dedicated audience, I, Shawn Schlosser, am a fan of water - like the kind that tastes really good. For much of my life I was unaware that water could have taste. Water was water and tasted like water. Well within the last several years of my young life I have come to realize that all water is not created equally. Being raised in beautiful Medford, Oregon, I was blessed with crisp, delicious tap water. Since this fantastic upbringing, I have lived in Arizona and now in Utah; both states do not share the high standards Oregon water instilled in my young mind. Now I know a lot of you are all like, "Is this guy for real? I lived in a crazy country for a million years and the water smelled like broccoli and if you drank it, you were on the toilet for seven hours". I know some of you are thinking that but I'm not talking about that - I'm just talking about US water. So I have become kinda picky in my water. Not necessarily about where it comes from, but more of how it tastes. If I am stuck with what I deem to be bad water, I have to make it very cold with ice. If I don't, I say, "gross this tastes bad," cause it does taste bad.
Water is absolutely essential in staying alive and since I have to drink it of necessity, I figure I might as well enjoy it. Though water filters and bottled water may be viewed, by some, as an unnecessary expense, I find them worth every penny. That is all.

Stories (Cont.)

...and an obligatory string of "uh huh"s and "yeah"s ensues. That's when the "You had to of been there" crutch is leaned upon and the event is robbed of its potential glory. For this reason, I find it very important to work on story telling skills. You may have to exaggerate, stretch the truth a bit, or even blatantly lie. You may have to be extremely detail-oriented, or raise and lower your voice to give more of a dramatic feel. Whatever it is your stories may or may not be lacking, try out something new and see what happens. Be conscience of your audience and what may spark their interest. These things can do nothing but help and I encourage you to do such. The one exception to all story telling rules occurs in the event that you are reminiscing with an acquaintance of a prior occasion in which both parties were present and thus share similar feelings of possible joy or remorse. In this case, it does not matter in the slightest how poorly or charismatically the story is told. As long as the memory is recalled, both parties recreate their own stories and are content. So go ahead, practice some new story telling skills and see what happens. It might be fun huh? Actually, I don't really care if you work on storytelling at all as long as I am not the direct or indirect victim of one of your terribly boring stories. Hopefully though, for the general betterment of society, we can all improve and create a better, more entertaining world. That is all.

Stories

I would like to talk about stories. A story is an account or recital of an event, or a series of events, that is either true or fictitious (Thefreedictionary.com). A good story needs to be told. I believe the world has a right to know about it in its full and complete form. Whether it be an outrageously comical mishap or a traumatically terrifying event, it needs to be told. Unfortunately, it seems that too many good stories get discredited everyday because of poor storytelling. Have you ever used the phrase "I guess you had to of been there"? Of course you have, right?! When you are telling a story and you perceive that your audience is getting bored or anxious that's the phrase you jump to. Despite how incredible, horrific, or humorous the event was to you, it is seemingly not even worth two minutes to the person you are explaining it to...

I Will Be Victorious

I would like to welcome all of my friends, fans, and anyone who is scholastically obligated to read my awesome blog. My current English class requires all students to create and maintain a blog on a weekly basis, and I have taken upon myself a personal challenge to make the best blog, far surpassing the efforts of my classmates. Though a daunting task, I feel confident in my ability to outwit, outplay, and outlast each and every one of my competitors. Please feel free to give feedback regarding personal incentives which I can provide to win your vote; no cost is too high, no notion too extreme. This entry is the first of many messages that will encourage, inspire, and promote feelings of happiness and good cheer. Please be aware, if you know anyone who is in cahoots with my opposition, direct their attention to this blog as it will undoubtedly win them over and unequivocally enrich their lives. Thank you and goodnight.

-Shawn